I've never really thought about it like that

Your thoughtful responses from the last couple of emails about mothers and daughters keep coming. Thank YOU!

There’s the relationships we have, the relationships we don’t have, the ones we wished we had, and what we make them mean about ourselves (and shows up in our money).

Keep them coming! Your responses help me to learn more about mother-daughter relationships and how they affect our relationships with our mothers, ourselves, and our money. I learn every bit as much from you as you may learn from me.

Maybe your mom was really worried about money, having to stretch a dollar too far after a divorce.

Maybe your mom took a concept like Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover a bit too far.

Maybe your mom handled all the finances, but never got what she wanted, always deferring to her husband's wishes.

Maybe your mom tried, but was always giving you a second-hand knock-off instead of the gift you had requested.

I think it's really normal.
You're not alone.

One year, my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. We never got name-brand clothes unless we bought them ourselves (and I was the middle child, the second girl, in the economic downturn of the '80's so all my clothes were hand-me downs), but for some reason, I took a chance and asked for a Nike hoodie.

I'm sure this was an accident on my mom's part, but that year she bought both my older and younger sister a Nike sweatshirt, but not me.

A childhood full of asking for a specific item and getting the knock-off version was so frustrating! and confusing...

I believed in Santa as a young child, so what did money have to do with it? I was good! I wanted it. I had the JC Penney catalog and the Toys R Us brochures and a red marker to circle what I wanted before I was old enough to make a list.

So why did I never get what I wanted?

Fast forward to this memory, and I see my chance to name a specific brand, something I knew I would like, and my mom couldn't buy a knock-off for.

Nike was Nike.

And I hadn't seen one that I wouldn't like or wear.

Somehow, I'm sure a mistake, my mom had got it switched up in her head - probably in the midst of raising not one but 3 teenager girls! - and got the Nike sweatshirts for the other girls, but not me.

I don't even remember what I got that year - only what I didn't.

It makes me feel so silly, so ashamed, so spoiled, so entitled to have this complaint.
- also - don't show disappointment! That's rude and selfish and greedy!

But, we feel what we feel, and it does no use in squashing our feelings and our memories down.

It's better to get them all out on the table, untangle them, comfort the disappointment and frustrations that my little girl self had, lay out all the societal norms and marketing messages, holiday traditions that didn't make a whole lot of sense, and decide how I want to handle my wants and desires now as an adult with money of her own, while taking this little girl with me.

Why was it my mom's job to deliver the exact right thing, do all the shopping and make magical holiday memories? Because it was the 1980's and she was the woman, the stay at home mom. She took care of the shopping and the girls (and the holidays and the house and the secretarial financial chores...)

I have compassion now, as an adult for how impossible it is to deliver a single day free from disappointment in a 5 person household, let alone a holiday or an entire childhood.

I know I'm not rude, selfish, or greedy.
But, I can still feel that way when I have a specific desire.

I know my parents loved me and provided for me.
But, I can still feel the disappointment and frustration from a morning of opening gifts that were just next to, adjacent to, what I wanted.

For having stuff in my closet and my drawers that I didn't like or want, but couldn't get rid of right away because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (even though my feelings were hurt, and I definitely couldn't show that).

If you're interested in learning more about how you think about money, how your mom may have played into that and get coached live, check out the upcoming workshops below. Your Mother, Your Money Role Model, and Becoming the Change.

This month, I'm going to both honor and address our mothers and how our mothers may affect our relationship to money.

When you book a discovery call to work with me in Profit + Flow this month, you'll get exclusive access to 3 workshops on the mother-daughter relationships and 2 additional sessions inside of Profit + Flow that will allow full attention to your mother-daughter relationship and how it could be showing up in your relationship with money.

3 Exclusive Workshops
Your Mother, explore your relationship with your mother
Your Money Role Model, explore your relationship of "good with money"
Becoming the Change, combine the mother-daughter relationship and the money role model you wish you'd had and put that into practice for yourself

+ 2 Bonus Sessions added to your Profit + Flow sessions

You must book your discovery call in the month of May, it may take place in June.
A discovery call is a 30 minute conversation where you tell me what your ideal money situation would be and I tell you what working with me as your own, personal money mentor for 6 months would entail in the last few moments of our time together. It's not a hard push sales call. It is a friendly conversation about money.
It's safe, it's fun, it's supportive and helpful.
You are not required to sign up for Profit + Flow to attend the workshops, but the 2 additional sessions are for those who do sign up to work with me in Profit + Flow .
This is a one time offer and does expire at midnight. May 30th.
You don't need to have a hard/bad relationship with your mother for this to be beneficial ;). We all have some mother stuff come up in our money.